"My Barn Having Burnt Down, I Can Now See the Moon." - Mizuta Masahide (17th century Japanese poet and samurai)

I have a classic Type A personality: competitive, organized, planful, impatient, highly aware of time management, etc. My family's epilepsy forced me to integrate patience and to go with the flow in ways for which I am grateful. When my spouse, Chanda, isn't feeling well or is feeling "seizure-y" (our family's word for absence or eyelid myoclonia that may generalize into a tonic clonic seizure), plans change immediately: work is moved, community is mobilized, plans are cancelled. The priorities rapidly shift to 1 Chanda's health and safety, 2 Meeting the kids' needs (dinner still needs to be made, they still need to get from place A to B, etc.), and 3 Everything else. Fight or flight? For me, I go into an almost emotional-less auto-pilot: What do I need to do meet priorities 1 and 2? After, I need extra sleep.

Epilepsy makes me stop. It makes me flexible, and today, I embrace that flexibility. For the children, Chanda has taught them the questioning mantra, "Am I finding obstacles or solutions?" They roll with changed plans, learning resilience and the ability to adjust without experiencing a sense of "losing:" the friend visit can happen another day, we can take videos of the special event to show Chanda later, it's ok to ask for help when we need it, and so on.

Epilepsy burnt down my family's barn, and now we can see the moon: new perspective, resilience, and patience. Chanda is the one living with epilepsy, but my whole family has epilepsy, and together, we shoot for the moon.