It’s not fair to battle epilepsy AND the side effects, but this was never about what is fair. Today, a vomit bowl can be found regularly by our bedside. I try to ensure our toilet bowls are bleached every couple of days because no one wants to throw up in a toilet that is anything less than 200% clean. Chanda regularly has to stop and throw up in public restrooms – it’s worst when switching meds.  Her epilepsy and/or side effects also make her prone to car sickness, so she Always has to sit in the front.  Some years ago, I made the mistake of not pulling over fast enough. 

I’m not sure what it’s like to live through that.  I’m not sure I could do it with 10% of the aplomb with which Chanda does it.  As a caregiver, sometimes all I can do is run to get the vomit bowl, make sure the toilets are clean, and pull over as quickly as possible.  A young person recently asked me, Don’t you hate epilepsy? No, I replied.  But I do hate the side effects for Chanda and all of you living with epilepsy and side effects, and I hate that all of you who love someone with epilepsy have to bear witness to the suffering. It’s not fair, but this was never about what is fair. Wishing you strength.